Friday, September 18, 2009

the plan... (only slightly tongue-in-cheek)

Well, now that I've finished all the painting I can do at one time I will take a little break to tell you about a piece of my anxiety management. Most single income self-employed artists (read: no retirement plan) have this sort of anxiety once they reach "a certain age." So I've been scheming.

When/If I can no longer pay my bills doing what I do (or something else) I can sell my house, take the equity, and buy a nice little (little!) RV and travel the country. Doing some kind of art/craft that doesn't require a big studio, etc.

When my money is used up or I become to old or infirm to keep going I could commit a crime. Not such a bad crime that would have horrible karmic consequences or make me miserable for acting in a way that conflicts with my values, but bad enough to land me in prison. Think about it: free health care, a room and bed of my own, as much mac and cheese as I can eat (and it wouldn't matter if I got fat). I could teach craft classes, maybe even participate in one of those programs that let prisoners have animals to help them learn love & compassion! I could have a TV in my room, plenty of books, and even a CD player with my favorite music...

The credit for this idea comes from a week or two ago when my "not son" and his mother were here visiting. N. wanted a last full-on slothful weekend, and so plopped himself on the couch to watch an entire day's worth of "Prison Life" or some such title. I was working at the table, so I watched the full day of his programing as well. There were HORRIBLE prisoners featured, the worst of the worst. And they had everything I just described, minus the animals and craft classes.

And if other artists in my situation did the same thing just think what fun we could have all together?

Now I just have to think of the right crime that would send me to one of those nice white-collar prisons...

Any ideas?

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