Monday, January 3, 2011

progress!

(I think).

I'll know more later.

But I DO know this: I am LOVING my solitary retreat this year. Loving it. It reminds me of when I first started this whole thing: waking up every morning excited to face the unknown, the fact that I had The Whole Day to do nothing but work. No place to go, no place to be, no one to talk to...

Things have changed for the better in (nearly) every respect. I love the fact that things ARE really working these days, I adore my helpers (will you see me as a total loser if I tell you they constitute most of my social life?), I am SO grateful to not have to do everything myself, store every little thing in my brain myself, feel that I need to do seventeen different things all at the same time, and to have to endure the feeling (and the reality) of being out of control every single moment. To know that nothing was getting done well, as I couldn't attend to anything fully.

But this time, right now, brings back the best part of those days. It's the only part of "the olden days" that I miss. Although the very fact of it's scarcity is likely one reason it feels so precious.

And I'm relishing it.

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