Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The nether zone of

the in-between.

Ok. I'm in the final days of the new work.

I've had moments of excitement, many moments of frustration.

And now I simply don't know.

I suspect it's not alive.

No really, I think it didn't happen this year.

But I remember feeling the same thing last year.

But the things I thought were really good didn't sell, and the things I wasn't so confident in did.

So.

I really have no idea.

But if I'm honest, (and I really do my best to be so)

I can't help but feel it didn't happen.

But there is still some time.

So I'll keep at it.

I may have to pay The Big Bucks to take some things as extra baggage on the airlines...

if I'm so fortunate as to break through in the final moments, as The Shipping is scheduled at the last possible moment on Monday.

Which is now less than a week away.

Or maybe I have gotten there?

I don't think so.

Not quite.

So.

I'll sleep, look at it fresh in the morning, and T. will come and weigh in, and I will consider, and I will consider again, and again, and again...

and flail about, and sleep again, and then?

Maybe the key will emerge.

I keep thinking of something, something I originally wanted to do but didn't have time (given all the setbacks in the first two weeks of this process), but maybe I can manage to make the time.

We'll see.

Welcome to my world!

And good night.

2 comments:

  1. Your feeling of not knowing comes through so strongly here. All the work, then to be assailed with uncertainty. Anyone who creates in any area of life knows this moment. I'm hoping that deadlines and fatigue have impaired clarity, that all is well, wonderful. In the cheering section, predicting success.

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  2. Oh, what a sweet and thoughtful comment. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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