Thursday, April 7, 2011

heavy weather

This week, here in my home/studio/factory--often known as "studio hyjinx" we've had very heavy hearts.

My assistant T. left to come here Tuesday morning calling out to her husband: "see you tonight, I love you!"

And when she got home that evening her husband told her that the marriage wasn't working for him, he wants a divorce, he's seeing someone else and he has already spoken with a lawyer. Oh, and that she should move out that night.

No warnings, no process, no affect, no feelings shown. Nothing.

When she called me that evening I didn't believe her. When she convinced me it was no joke I couldn't close my mouth.

There were trips planned, she had just taken on and completed a modest remodel of their home, he was buying fish for dinner and we had discussed that day at the work table what she would make to go with it.

She is in shock. Grief. Despair.

And all of us here are as well.

And then a second wave:

R. (another of "us") got a phone call that an acquaintance/neighbor of hers had been brutally beaten (probably to death, as she was showing no brain activity at last report) while we were all here, working, that same day.

We are all in shock.

Absorbing the impact of cruelty, brutality.

Absorbing the fact that the earth is not as solidly stable under our feet as we want to believe it is.

Earthquakes, tsunamis, wars, lies, heartlessness, cruelty and violence. In the big world, and in the small.

We have no control.

We can only do our best.

And be kind.


  1. Yes, "having control" over one's lIfe is mostly myth (and hope). My realization of this came via an armed robber. Living day to day seems the best solution but our thoughts drift forward and plans get made. Maybe the answer is within calmness and patience. And letting go of painful memories. That's the difficult part.

  2. thank you for your visit Bill, and your comment. Living in the moment, dancing to whatever music is playing, surfing the waves... so many metaphors for something that is so difficult to practice. A moving target, that mindfulness thing, eh?
    By the way, I checked out your blog and like it very much. I like the simple tone of it, the sharing of everyday life.

  3. Just read this and can hardly believe the amount of blows you all have to cope with these days. Yes, life is so very fragile and you're so right -- we can only do our best in our very own little world, hoping for the best and trying to be as mindful, watchful and kind as we can.