Tuesday, May 10, 2011

They're HERE!!!!

I finally got the photos of the new work back from the photographer, my assistant T. and I got chills as we saw them for the first time this morning, and we both commented that "but the work is even SO much better now than when these photos were taken!" That's inevitable, as each piece is done individually and as these are the first pieces ever made in this line we (and they) continue to grow and develop in complexity and subtlty. Please do click on them to see them larger!

So without further ado:

This is one of the new "forest" vases

Hare here is a grouping of them:

and here is a rose vase (I tend to call them "grandma roses" as my grandma always loved roses and I have a painting she did of some in my kitchen)

and a grouping:

and this is what I call "canopy tree", because I remember taking the original photo looking up into the tree from the shade below:

Hhere is a collection of "grass" and "sumac":

and here are some "treeberry" and "anenomy":

and last, but certainly not least are the new "whisper" martini, wine, and tumblers:

Saturday, May 7, 2011

when I started this journey,

I had an exciting idea.

An adventure!

An interesting life!

A life that I crafted to fit my very own self, not a slot that I had to try to squeeze my unique shape into...

So I bought a little rowboat.

I didn't ask around much, I didn't learn about the weather, I didn't research different kinds of boats, I didn't even know how to row.

I just knew I wanted to paddle in the water.

Oh, I got into the water ok. I loved it. Every day, waking up with the whole day stretching in front of me, offering nothing but time for me to work on what I had set in front of me to do.

But the boat had leaks I hadn't known about, and rowing was much more work than I had thought.

I still tried, tried, tried.

Bailing, rowing, bailing, rowing, bailing, rowing...

While I was busy bailing and rowing several big storms were gathering themselves.

I survived the first three or four. Swamped, but I managed to get the boat upright and climb back in.

The last one sank my boat. I managed, after days and weeks of swimming, to get to shore.

It was weeks later that I was able to sit up, look around, and decide what to do.

I decided to get another boat.

Pretty nervous about it all, I set off. This time I had a little sailboat. I learned gradually to navigate some winds and waves. How to trim the sails in, how to batten hatches, how to steer into the wind and wait out the storms.

But still, the weather was too much for my little boat, and she suffererd some big dammage. I felt beaten down and discouraged, but I had already commited myself to a life on the sea. Just had to figure out how to make it work.

I got a new boat, a little bigger, and with a crew.

The boat is a modest sailboat. Strong enough to sail in the big ocean, but still very vulnerable to waves and weather. To keep her afloat it takes a great amount of skill, and many times I can't rest or the boat might be swamped again. But my crew and I are learning to work well together, and in spite of having no real survival suits, we continue to steer this little boat right into the wind. It is exhilerating, exhausting, and our survival has given a lot of confidence. Wheeeeeee!!!!!

It's good.

I envision a slightly bigger boat next, still modest, no monster cruiser; I still want to feel every nuance of the wind and waves. But more stable, more secure, and I want it to be fully outfitted with survival suits.

That's what I want now.

Monday, May 2, 2011

what deserves applause?

Yesterday a friend stopped buy, and our chat (which rambled around and about) somehow arrived at a comment he made stating that graduating college was a sign that one has learned discipline, and deserved respect based on that.

For me, that did not ring true at all.

College (all three degrees of it), was easy. Well, relatively speaking. Sure there were long sleepless nights of the drama of finishing a term paper, etc., but it was such an enormous buffet of courses (Ha! Like that metaphor?) during which I had only to be fed the opportunity to learn things that expanded my mind and made life more interesting.

Not including the (I'm sort of ashamed to admit) fact that I didn't have to surrender to the "real world" of boredom and hopelessness. Which, after graduating from my first degree is what I experienced in my first (and only!) "real job".

I never felt that I deserved applause or congratulations for college. It was relatively easy for me. Fun, interesting, exciting. Full of hope and plans to make a difference.

What I feel worthy of applause & recognition is when I do things, most often really little things that would be of no consequence to most people but are very difficult for me. Simple things that feel to me like I am slaying dragons... that the dragons are about to slay me.

I dealt with some old tax issues last week.

THAT was enormous!

I had cold sweats, anxiety, sleepless nights.

And I did it.

I did it.

I slayed that dragon.

THAT'S the kind of thing I feel I deserve applause for.

The hard stuff for one person is often, perhaps mostly, very small for many others.

It's the little things.

We fight our little battles inside ourselves but in reality they are the big ones.

Hooray for us!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

my relationship (s) with the weather

It's sunny today!

I actually love all kinds of weather.

I am often so relieved to have the rain.
Rain makes me feel so soft and safe, all wrapped up in a cozy nest. Soothed, comforted.

Big thunder and lightening are exhilarating for me. I want to be out IN it. When I was a kid on the island I would nestle myself between big driftwood logs on the beach and just watch & breathe it in.

Big wind makes me want to be out in the gusts, to feel the power of it push against my body. When I was at the ocean last fall there was a huge storm with around 90-100 mph wind. I went running on the beach. Into the wind, I was at (what seemed like) a 45 degree angle, and running WITH the wind I had to lean back like a drum major to not be blown onto my face.

I remember in college a particular storm during which I ran to the top of a big hill and danced in that wind. I came home to the dorm, opened the big window and hung leaves I had gathered from the woods from the ceiling with thread, and played Carmina Burana at top volume.

So FULL of it I wanted to burst forth from my body.

I loved it.

Today the sun is out, the air is warm, I went for a little walk to the store and was thinking about the differences I feel in the sun vs. in the rain.

In the rain my spirit is contracted, pulled way in, and curled up tight like a napping kitten. Cozy and safe.

In the sun my spirit expands, the molecules of my self seem to disperse forever, and I feel a lightness, an openness, and a sort of transparency.

The differences are so striking.

Today is a day full of light, lightness, and sweetness.